To Thine Own Self be True

Monday, February 8, 2021

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Never be ashamed of who you are or where you came from. Always be true to yourself and others will be true to you. Dee always tried to be someone else. She was never truly satisfied with who she was. Dee had to go to college, have the nice clothes and associate with the right people. She distanced herself from her poor mother and sister. The story "Everyday Use" by Alice Walker is told by a mother who wishes her oldest daughter Dee would appreciate her and her young sister, Maggie. The mother tells of how Dee treats them as if they were ignorant and pathetic. Dee never appreciated the life her mother tried to provide. Dee didn't want to be recognized as poor black folks until her days in college when it became popular. Dee walked all over her mother and Maggie thinking she was much better than them. Dee's mother is tired of Dee's pompous attitude and lets her know that Maggie is the one who truly loves and appreciates what they have. The story is written in first person narrator. Dee's mother, the narrator of the story, is described as a large, hardworking, masculine black woman. The point of view affects the theme and emotions by helping me to be able to relate better to the narrator and by giving me a closer insight on the mother's feelings toward her daughters.


The mother in this story is a large, masculine woman who is hardworking. There was no mention of a man or husband in this story. She had to provide a living for her children, and in the 140's there were no modern day conveniences. "In real life I am a large, big-boned woman with rough, man-working hands" (10). If the burdens of life all fall on one person, the proof of their strength and determination would show in their hands.


As the mother shares her dreams and hopes of reconciliation with her daughter and the reality of what her life is really like, the emotions of the reader encompasses sympathy for the mother, annoyance of the self-righteous daughter, and compassion for the quiet, meek daughter, Maggie. I feel sympathetic towards the mother because all she really ever wanted was for Dee to appreciate the life she had made for her. Dee was tacky and snobbish to her mother's efforts, and nothing was ever good enough. In the story, the mother mentions how Dee truly feels about her and the life she lived. "She pins on my dress a large orchid, even though she has told me once that she thinks orchids are tacky flowers" (10). The flower symbolizes the way Dee feels about her life. The mother wants Dee to grow up and realize that she does not have to despise her upbringing. She just wants her to be happy and know the joy of having someone who loves her and cares for her. She wants Dee to say, Mama, I am sorry and thank you for everything you have done. She wants to be appreciated for all her hard work. I feel annoyed by Dee because of the way she treats her mother and sister. The quote that really jumps out and describes how disrespectful Dee is towards her mother is "Then she puts the Polaroid in the back seat of the car, and comes up and kisses me on the forehead" (1). When she kissed her mother on the forehead, she showed that she felt she was higher than her mother, and she felt sorry for her and for the way her mother lived. I feel complete compassion for Maggie. Her physical appearance alone makes me feel sensitive to her character "Maggie will be nervous until after her sister goes she will stand hopelessly in corners, homely and ashamed of the burned scars down her arms and legs, eying her sister with a mixture of envy and awe" (0). Maggie envies the fact that Dee is outgoing and is not afraid to go for the things she wants.


From the mother's standpoint her struggles in life made her a stronger person, and she takes pride in all her accomplishments. The mother and Maggie truly did value their heritage, their loved ones and their heirlooms in their lives. On the other hand, Dee in her younger years looked at the things as embarrassing, and then later in life she viewed them as status symbols. Maggie and her mother saw the joy in their lives where as Dee was always looking for something better in life. Even in their meager surroundings, Maggie and her mother were happy. "And then the two of us sat there just enjoying, until it was time to go in the house and go to bed" (18). After Dee had left, things quieted down, and Maggie and her mother realized a sense of satisfaction with themselves even if Dee could not find it for herself.


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The author made a good choice on choosing the first person participant for this character because I felt her disappointment in her daughter, Dee. I feel that if the author had made the character first person observer I would not have related to the theme as I do now. The author gains closeness to reader.


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