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Marriage is based on love, trust, and respect. One marriage that does not fit this model is that of Penelope and Odysseus in the Odyssey by Homer. Odysseus went away to fight and was gone for twenty years, Penelope his wife, always had hope that he would come home some day, and never took up with anyone else, she stayed loyal. However after twenty years she decided that maybe it would be best to start looking for a new suitor.
The story then progresses with the return of Odysseus however Penelope is not told that he is back, instead he poses as a beggar who she so kindly takes in. There is however the question of whether or not she knows that it is really him. I believe she did and I also believe that she was in her own way testing him by not saying she knew that it was him. There are many reasons why I think she knew it was him. One reason I believe she did this because he always tested her when they were together. Therefore they tested each other which makes us question their relationship and how good it was.
The first event that took place when he returned was the way he told Penelope that Odysseus was back, "…Zeus be my witness, and the table set for strangers and the hearth to which I've come- the lord Odysseus, I tell you, is present now, already on this island!". This was the first that they had heard about this. He then described himself to Penelope as he was pretending to be a beggar. He told Penelope that he saw Odysseus and so he described him for her and the description was perfect, and he resembled himself very closely, therefore she had to have had some clue that it was him. When your married to a person, and they go away for a while, you have to recognize them when they return even if they just look familiar to you. When he told her the story of how he had seen her husband and then described him so perfectly, she looked at the 'stranger' and wept. In my view along with the view of many others, she knew then that its was her husband but did not say anything. This could be because she was afraid that if she was wrong that it would make her look foolish and so she kept quiet and just let the beggar stay. He was noble and she had hoped and prayed that she was right. She didn't say anything and waited for him to give her more reason to believe that it was him.
She also could not completely believe that it was him because she assumed that if he were finally home that she would have known about it. Then she began to hear that he had indeed returned home and was around the area in which they lived. This was around the same time that the beggar came around, which is another reason that she believed it could be him. She wanted it to be him but could not be one hundred percent sure that it was actually him. I think she was scared, because he had been gone for so long. If he was back like everyone was saying he was, she wanted them to be able to talk and pick up from where they left off. She did not want there to be any bad feelings between them or secrets which there were, but that comes later on. She wanted her husband back, completely.
Odysseus tried to hide his return from his wife as long as possible, to kind of test her. He wanted to see what she would say about his return, and wanted to see if she had been loyal, and what she had done while he was away. He was partially successful for a little while, and then one wrong move almost spoiled his plan to. There was this scar that Odysseus had on his leg from boar years ago. The nurse had noticed it first, and did not call attention to it in front of Penelope because Odysseus stopped her before she could by threatening her. This surely would have given it away and made Penelope realize that it was him.
Once he had been back and escaped the scar problem, he had also seen the suitors that were lined up to take Penelope's hand in marriage, and he knew he had to put a stop to it. He did what the men had to do, to prove themselves and their abilities to Penelope. He proved to be the best, and like Odysseus as well. After the competition Odysseus knew it was not yet over and that he would have to do something to keep the suitors away from his wife. He did the unthinkable and killed the suitors before they had a chance to get to Penelope. After this was done Penelope's suspicions grew stronger, because only her husband could do such a thing, for a good reason. So this was not entirely a smart move on his part, and one of three events that gave it away that he was who he was. When this had happened the nurse had went upstairs to tell Penelope that he had returned after all these years, and she in return told the nurse
What is this mockery you wake me up to tell me, breaking in on my sweet spell of sleep? I had not dozed away so tranquilly since my lord went to war, on that ill wind to Ilion. (book lines 14-1). This gives the impression that she did believe it was him, and just did not say anything. Later she wakes and rejoices to this news, still with a small disbelief but not as much as earlier. This is when she really wakes up to the fact that it really could be him.
Shortly after, she speaks to him and they go to the bedroom where he sees that the bed has been moved and he cries out, asking who moved his bed, and this is when she finally realized that it was indeed him. She ran and threw her arms around him with joy kissing him. Later they consummated their love in that same bed.
Throughout this ordeal, they tested each other. She in some sense knew it was him, but did not tell anyone that she knew because she was testing him to see how long he would hide it from her. He was testing her, to see what she was like while he was away, by not telling her that it was him. They were both very deceitful and dishonest, but clever. This does not say much about their relationship if they have to be like that toward one another. Now he also kept things from her about his trip, like the women he had met and fooled around with so-to-speak. This guilt always haunted him however and laid on him very heavily. They do not have a very open relationship, it is full of lies and it is very bizarre. This is not a healthy relationship, however some people might argue that they needed that deceit in order to communicate with each other.
There are many different point of views on this subject. My point of view is that Penelope and Odysseus were not made to have a perfect or even healthy relationship. I think Homer needed some drama in his epic and so he had to think up this dysfunctional relationship. He needed controversy in this epic and Penelope and Odysseus' relationship was just what he needed. It is very interesting to try and analyze, because there could be many different explanations, and no one explanation is right.
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